About a month ago, I made the big decision to close down my Etsy store, turn off my Facebook business page and focus on making art.
The realization this needed to happen came in a weird way. I started a fantastic new job, totally unrelated to my art and business, and ended up enjoying the work way more than anything I was doing for myself. And this made me feeling oddly guilty and I found myself wondering…why?
I love art. I loved working on turning my passion into my business. But…I hit a wall and I didn’t want to admit that it was time to reevaluate again. Still, I knew somewhere along the way it became less about the art and more about the business. I stopped making art for the sake of making art and was suffering creatively as a result.
Which meant it was time to do something different.
No more focusing on sales numbers, trying to figure out what people would buy, or how to engage them in my content. I needed to spend less time asking, “how will this profit me” instead of “how will this help me grow”. At the beginning of 2018, the goal was always to become a stronger artist, and in return grow my business. I wanted to learn, work and create more as a way to help my small business get better, but I don’t know that I ever quite found the correct balance.
I spent so much of my time making creative content for others…that I lost my own creative spark, and was struggling to ignite it on a regular basis. There were days I dreaded going to the desk because the project I was working on felt foreign, like I was doing something simply because I had to in order to keep my business alive. I felt stuck and it wasn’t the first time that feeling crept up on me.
I’ve had a lot of ups and downs since I first started this blog.
Many starts and stops, changes in branding, image and what I was ultimately trying to do with my message. I’ve taken breaks, tried new products, had successful sales numbers and then really, horribly bad ones. I’ve been broken down and built back up more than once.
But the one thing that remained consistent is that I would always come back to my creative truth.
My truth that creativity, above all things, is for the artist not the consumer.
I constantly stand in amazement of creatives who’ve turned their passion into a successful business. I want to be among you one day, but for now, I need to step back.
In yoga, you’ll often hear teachers and leaders say to focus on your roots. To ground down and connect with the earth. This is where we start to draw our power from, where we start to build the energy and connection that flows throughout our entire body.
Root down to rise up.
That’s one of my favorite mantras and something I’ve been repeating to myself constantly over the last month. It is time for me to root down into my artistic practice, so that eventually, I can rise up.
And I don’t know what the future holds. What I’d like to do is to open up the store again someday, but honestly, who knows? I’d like to keep writing, blogging and sharing my feelings on how to bring creativity into your own life. Only this journey has been a firm reminder that the future is always changing. Cliché, I know, but oh so very true and all I know is that right now in this present moment I’m happy.
I’m happy focusing on me, my job that I love, and rooting down artistically.
I love not having a plan.
Yeah, that’s crazy to say, to think and even crazier to live. But right now, I’m not making any business plans. I’m taking each day as they come and being creative in the moment. No more “pre-planned” creative moments. I’m journaling, writing, painting, sketching, knitting, doing yoga, and so much more without constraints. In way that I haven’t been in years.
So….all I can say is stay tuned. It is totally possible I’m writing this to be published into the abyss of the Internet unread, and that’s cool…but if you’re out there, I’m sure the best is yet to come in whatever shape that it ends up taking.
I’m so grateful for all the love and support I’ve gotten over the years, and to those who’ve stuck around thank you.
And now, it’s time to go be uninhibitedly creative.